..and then,”WHAM!” it hit you.

April 11, 2008

No matter how strong your character may seem, you will turn out to be the weakest link when the one you love most is hurt, by you.

I started to remind myself that; my other half is not only a lover, a boyfriend by status, not only someone you refer to as to whom you belong to when you’re insecure, but also a best friend. I always forget that he is also my best friend. Although I did not meet him as a friend at first, but he has become my best friend. I forget, that having him as my boyfriend for a year now should enable me to speak to him about every single issues I go through, knowing he will listen and be there to advice me and to guide me through as much as he can. I always forget that he is not as bad as I may think he is. I need to always remind myself that thinking about my boyfriend whom is also my best friend in angry thoughts will never help my problems through.

I know I can talk to him. But I don’t know why i didn’t. I wish I know how to say sorry and I wish I had a better step at trying to solve things out.

I always want the best out of this special relationship. It’s so precious to me that I don’t want to lose him. I’d like to re-confirm that. YES. Among all fears I have in us, I fear to lose him. At least, I don’t want to lose him due to reasons that are insignificant. I don’t want to lose him over a huge argument over the phone. I don’t want to lose him over a gossip. I don’t want to lose him over a third party.

Let it be over something significant that we both know we can no longer fight for, though we are still on the march of fighting for us (I know I am). And that something significant would be over parents, family, career, religion.

I love you, J. and I hope you can forgive me.



  1. hey hi, who’s this yeah? sorry.. just curious.

  2. Sometimes you have to deal with things that are significant, and you end up squabbling over something that seems so trivial, and you think, what the fuck?

    Good luck, babe. Here’s to common sense and forgiveness.

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